Late Night

It is currently 3:04 am. I cannot sleep. I have been trying since 11pm when I gave up all hope of not crying.. or more of when I took my first break from long sobs and thought I was done. I was wrong- getting into bed only made me cry more. And the I felt like puking. My ovaries loveeee me. I think I did manage about a solid hour of sleep in there. The only reason I know know this is I had put Transformers on, on my laptop (since Lea already left and she brought the TV) and there is about an hours worth of scenes which I cannot recall- that is until the movie skipped back to the beginning, but I was well awake for that. That was at 2. Its been a long period of not being able to sleep since then. BUT I can proudly said I haven't cried again yet- and I've been doing a lot of thinking. I just can't help it. I don't like it. It should stop.

Anyway, I'm just writing 'cuse I'm hoping by the time I blog something my neighbor will give up packing and go to bed (or at least take a nap. Its 3 in the morning for goodness sakes.. and Good Charlotte does not constitute as good music. Please turn it of, I'm trying to go to bed for pete's sake. ) I'm also hoping that it clears my mind and I can pull out at least another hour of sleep or so.

I haven't slept well in a while, and by that I mean since last Friday. Last Friday I slept like a champ- last Friday I was exhausted. I had two exams, fifteen minutes apart, starting at 7:45 am. I didn't take a nap all day, and Alan and I went on a very long walk around campus. I'm not sure how many miles we walked, but I am sure its more exercise than I had done otherwise all semster. It was a wonderful walk though.

I really don't know what else to say, so I'm apologizing now for any rambling that might go on in the next, well in this whole post. As I said, I'm just trying to distract myself until I can manage a bit more sleep. At one point I think I'm going to look up all my grades again, and then resign thinking that either Blackboard isn't updating correctly or my teachers are slow as hell putting grades up. Or most likely both.

Anyway, I think writing a bit helped because my brain is slowly turning back into mush. I still don't think I'll sleep, but I know I wont be writing cognitively for much longer. And, just to make myself feel better by making fun of myself in an inside joke (please don't worry about it. If you don't know what it means, the joke obviously isn't for you). Allocate, allocate, allocate. (and once again, I didn't use it in the proper context- mainly because I'm too tired to remember the proper way to use it again, and would have probably goofed it up, again. ...man Alan, I can't believe how much I miss you already. Crazy.)

*Update: after numerous failed attempts to go to bed, I gave up and watched The Office on my laptop. thank goodness for 4 -5 hour car rides... that is if I manage to sleep on the way home... which is highly unlikely. awesome.