Feeling Like A Failure

I've had a lot of good posts I've been meaning to write. Posts on evolution, and religion and theories intertwining the two, and even one about my conflicting views of natural selection and the desire to be a geneticist (in a sense.) But this isn't a post about any of that. This is another angry letter. And it's another angry letter to myself, but not to my hormones this time. This one is straight up to the failure that I am.

Dearest Britni,

You are a good for nothing slacker. And you fail at life.

No, I'm serious. You know you need money for school and you don't even take a paying job over the summer. What the hell was that? You just sit and wait for things to come to you, hoping that everything will be alright, and in doing so you fuck everything up for everyone. You worry your family, your friends, Alan. And then you just stare blankly at them because you are too much of a fucking coward to even tell them you are sorry. You are sorry for being a fucking failure and getting your first job this summer, instead of working through high school like you should have. You are sorry for blowing most of the summer on a job that doesn't pay when you know you need the money. You're sorry that you can't be more active in school or smarter in classes to qualify for more scholarships. You are even more sorry that you didn't apply for more student loans, and get money that way. Now you're stuck fucking life up for everyone, again.

How many times are you going to take money from Jeremy? You're such a lazy ass. Your little brother has such a better work ethic than you do. So what if you do better in school. Obviously that really isn't helping you out any right now. In quite the contrary its actually causing you to cost your family more. You're so lazy and selfish you can't even get your fucking dog a new home, even though you know you can't take him with you and he's a burden on everyone when you leave. That's what you do. You create burdens.

You're such a bitch. Right now I hate you.